12 Jun Children: 5 rules for being obeyed without screaming
How many times has it happened to yell at children? Educating them well without losing patience is certainly the most difficult task for a good parent. Nobody has superpowers or a manual that outlines the perfect behaviors to grow their children in compliance with the rules. But it is also true that a good educational result can be achieved by changing certain behaviors in adults.
The first fundamental rule is to remember that example is of fundamental importance to make children follow the rules. Therefore it is important to accompany words to deeds, demonstrating to the little ones that prohibitions are not a limit to their person but help to point them on the right path.
Educating children without screaming is possible and it is not at all essential to raise the tone to correct their behavior. A firm attitude and a determined look will be more than enough to get them back properly.
Let’s find out 5 rules to make children obey without screaming :
1) Change communication
One of the first behaviors to be obeyed by children is to change the type of communication. Being authoritative does not mean screaming and using strong manners to impose one’s ideas through exaggerated and inadequate tones of voice. Because even this behavior could be imitated by the little ones and above all misinterpreted. On the contrary, developing an educational language. Then change the type of communication, will make children grow without making them develop an attitude of defiance towards what is forbidden. Each prohibition must always be accompanied by an explanation logic of why it must not be done. Only in this way will no provocative attitudes towards authority arise.
2) Adapt the communication
Friendship, dialogue, detachment. These are three of the keywords in a parent-child relationship. They are present in all the growth phases of a child’s life. But they are to be “administered” in a different way based on the child’s age, always taking into consideration his character. A parent must be a friend of their child in order to be able to listen to him and advise him, without having to order him anything. There is no need to scream, just talk: the right dialogue is able to create complicity and mutual respect. Two elements are the basis of active listening. Detachment is what the parent needs in order to be objective with their child; in this way. The child will be able to develop his own potential and the parent will be able to advise him in the best possible way in growth.
3) Non-verbal communication
Another educational rule to be heard is to radically change your attitude. Mistakenly children, tormented by the constant screams, could understand that only those who scream the loudest are right. And have the right to impose their ideas, ending up not listening anymore. Non-verbal communication plays a vital role in the education of offspring. A direct look accompanied by a calm and decisive tone of voice will inspire respect. And will make parents appear more authoritative and firm on their ideas. In this way, the children will understand that only through dialogue and calm tones can one obtain reason, without having to raise one’s voice to be heard.
4) Suitable language
When exposing rules to children it is of fundamental importance to use impersonal and objective language. Without using the imperative which could arouse contrary reactions. Furthermore, it is important to explain why certain behaviors are not adequate. To distinguish well what could previously be done from what must now be avoided. In this way, the child will learn the rules without seeing them as restrictions thanks to objective explanations. So it will be better to replace the classic phrase “Whose fault is it?” with “What happened?”, in this way we will focus on the actual reasons for what happened.
The ‘ self-control does not arise spontaneously and suddenly it is an exercise behavior that requires a lot of perseverance and commitment. After a long day of work in which a lot of stress accumulates. It can happen to add a disproportionate emotional load to the normal screams addressed to children. So it is good to distinguish the emotions of the moment without adding moods that do not belong to that particular fact. In moments when tension is growing, it is essential for adults to find their own space to let off steam. Without pouring out their tensions on children.
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